1. Being overly honest and truthful without considering the feelings of others. 2. Trying too hard to be a gentleman and acting unnatural. 3. Constantly expressing a strong desire for intimacy or affection. 4. Rushing into a relationship without proper pacing. 5. Spending excessively on women in an attempt to impress them. These behaviors can make a man appear insecure, desperate, or manipulative in a woman's eyes, ultimately leading to an unattractive "clown-like" persona. It's important for men to maintain a balanced, confident, and considerate approach in their relationships.
The first one: Real
Simply speaking, saying too much of the truth. Have you ever written a short essay for a girl? Whether it's a conflict between lovers, or a heartfelt expression of your admiration, or an apology for something, many brothers try to convey their thoughts completely through passionate written words, to touch the other person, or to explain why they did it, etc. But doing so often only ends up touching yourselves.
Here is the English translation: I don't know if you've played little games like "draw and guess" or "pass the message", but even if you haven't, you've probably heard of them. You'll find that everyone thinks they're expressing themselves very clearly, but as the game goes on, the meaning that gets expressed is vastly different from the original. In other words, when you pour out your heartfelt thoughts, you think you're expressing them very clearly and unambiguously, but the other person may not necessarily understand your true intentions. In most cases, there will be misunderstandings and misinterpretations. So it's better to avoid long-winded speeches - what you think is sincere and heartfelt is just your own perception. If she doesn't have feelings for you, she won't see it that way. Some brothers may ask, "What should I do? How do I express my feelings to a girl or explain a misunderstanding?" Let me give you an example, and you'll understand. If I broke your leg, would you hate me? Of course you'd want to break three of my legs in return. But what if I gave you a Ferrari as compensation? Would you still hate me? I don't think you'd hate me at all - you'd probably want to hug me and call me "brother". The point is, a lot of the time, girls don't really care about what you say, but what you do. People prefer to see your actions rather than just listen to your words. All the heartfelt confessions in the world can't compare to a bouquet of romantic roses. Building castles in the air can't match the tangible satisfaction of a car or a house.
A gentleman
Most straight men tend to have this problem - they pretend to be polite and gentlemanly. Many people try to maintain their image, being overly polite and gentlemanly. When chatting, they always worry if what they say is appropriate, whether it will affect their image, and what if she gets angry. Worrying about considering the other party's feelings often leads to the outcome of being a nice person, but without actually developing a close relationship.
Here is the English translation: My little sister went to get a cat a few days ago. The male kitten was three times the size of the female kitten. At first, the male kitten was amazed when it saw the female kitten, and it wanted to get to know her. But the female kitten was fierce and intimidated the male, causing it to shrink back and tremble in the corner. It sat there cowering all night, watching the assertive female kitten. Isn't this the same as when we pursue women? The more polite and reserved we are, the less interested they become. The more timid we are, the less we get. You should think about how you interact with your superiors. When you're nervous around them, worried about making a bad impression that could impact your promotion, you end up giving vague answers when they ask your opinion, like whether emotional intelligence or IQ is more important. But they're just hoping for a straightforward answer so they can educate you. The more reserved and polite you are, the less interest the other person will have in you and the less you'll have to talk about. It's the same when pursuing women - if you're always formal and polite like a tool, greeting them and making polite conversation like a gentleman, the woman won't think highly of you. She'll just feel a distance and lose interest quickly. Being overly reserved and polite has the opposite effect - you need to be more assertive.
Thirsty
Here is the English translation: Men and women's preferences are different. Men's liking is a surge of hormones - they can like a woman within 0.01 seconds based on her figure and appearance. But a woman's liking is a slow process - it gradually grows as they get to know each other. This difference often leads to a situation where a man may already be thinking about marriage and children before the woman has even developed feelings for him. This emotional imbalance can make the man's needs and desires too strong. Humans are strange creatures - we tend to desire things that are difficult to obtain, but ignore things that are easily accessible, even if they are offered for free. For example, long queues form at popular bubble tea shops, while free samples at roadside stalls are often rejected. When a man's desperate behavior conveys his low value and lack of romantic options, he will be mercilessly passed over, because others won't want what no one else wants. If you want to change this mindset and learn how to communicate and express yourself properly, please return to the iWSheng homepage and read the other articles.
The fourth one: Urgent
- Eager to showcase themselves, young men with little dating experience often have a mistaken mindset about romance. They believe that if they like a girl, they should be completely honest with her. So whenever they chat with this girl, their mode of sincere confession automatically activates. - Even if the girl only responds with a few words, these young men become impatient and eagerly try to present themselves from every angle. They wish they could immediately start writing an autobiography to give to the girl, listing all their life's advantages - the cars, the properties, the Tsinghua or Peking University education. They think this will quickly attract the girl. - However, if this trend continues, the girl will lose interest in them within a few days. This is because they have overlooked an important factor - the need for mystery. Most people don't like spoilers when watching TV shows or movies. As long as the suspense in the plot hasn't been revealed, it keeps people's curiosity piqued. Relationships also require a sense of mystery. - If you expose too much of yourself to the girl, your aura of mystery will vanish. The girl will no longer have the desire to continue understanding you. In her eyes, you will be like a blank sheet of paper, how could you possibly attract her then?
The last one: Krypton
Here is the English translation: Trying to buy love with money is an idea that many brothers have now. They think that if they have money, they can easily get a girl. When they can drive a Ferrari with one hand, they believe girls will flock to them. In fact, this is because we have been deeply influenced by society. The current values in society are that if you have money, girls will chase after you. But this is actually incorrect. Money can buy a girl's body, but it cannot buy her heart. The girls you can buy with money will abandon you mercilessly when you have no money. The most valuable things in this world, like family, friendship, and our love, cannot be bought with money. Not all girls are so mercenary either. Girls often stay with you not because of your wealth, but because of who you are as a person. If they like you, even if you don't have much money, they will be happy to be with you. They may not dare to ask you for expensive bags and gifts, afraid you will call them materialistic. So you should be your true self. You should use your inner qualities and characteristics to attract girls, not just try to buy their love with money.
Here is the English translation: Alright, brothers, I hope you understand that pursuing love cannot be done solely based on a sincere heart and recklessly charging forward. A healthy relationship is built on a foundation of mutual equality. Your cheap behavior will not change the girl's impression of you at all. It's too easy to distinguish between genuine affection and being a clown - it just depends on whether you still treat yourself like a person. Love yourself first, and only with an attitude of equality can you attain an equal relationship. Love as much as you want, but don't be servile or arrogant. You can do a lot for love, even sacrifice for it, but remember that sacrifice should be noble and glorious, not lowly.
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