Love is a complicated thing. Some call it a "soulmate connection," while others see it as simply a matter of meeting the right conditions. In a cruder sense, it's nothing more than an exchange of interests. Young people often like to pretend they're pursuing something pure, talking about "marrying love," but the reality of the world has already slapped them in the face. Is sincerity the most important thing? How much is sincerity worth in practical terms - can it buy you rice or cover your mortgage payments? No one dares to take their sincerity to the bank and exchange it for cash; it's just cheap talk used to comfort oneself. Men look for women who are fair-skinned and beautiful, preferably ones who are gentle homemakers - someone who can be a decorative vase in social settings, yet also cook and serve tea at home. Women, on the other hand, may complain about men being calculating, yet their own checklists for potential partners are just as demanding - the man must be handsome and fashionable, attentive and empathetic, and ideally, financially secure with overseas citizenship to help the whole family climb the social ladder. These requirements are more stringent than job recruitment criteria, almost as if they're looking to hire an employee or adopt a pet, rather than find a life partner.
It is indeed a sad reality that many people nowadays prioritize material conditions and social status over genuine connection and compatibility when it comes to choosing a partner. Some wealthy men insist on marrying only those with certain household registrations, viewing potential spouses as "qualified investments" for their future children. Meanwhile, some women rely heavily on filters and make-up, dreaming of finding a rich and romantic man who will cater to their whims without any criticism of their temperament. This transactional mindset in relationships is prevalent, even though people often claim to believe in fate and destiny. The truth is, everyone is assessing each other's qualifications, unwilling to admit that they themselves are the ones being "shopped around" as commodities.
Love is poetic in books, filtered on social media, but in reality, it is often synonymous with pots, pans, and dishes. Roses are beautiful, but they can't fill your stomach; a Michelin-starred dinner may be romantic, but it can't pay the real electricity, water, and gas bills. Someone can accompany you in dining, entertainment, and leisure, but when the daily necessities of life come knocking, they will most likely turn and leave. The ones who truly stay are not the sweetly curated photos in your social feed, nor the so-called touching rituals, but the person who is willing to get up early to help you soothe your child, the one who discusses with you how to pay the mortgage. Some may be able to participate in your dining, entertainment, and leisure, but they cannot accompany you through the daily grind of life.
This generation is particularly afraid of facing reality. They have idealized love to an absurd degree, thinking that by escaping the mundane details of daily life, they can forever live in their own imagined fantasies. But the most cruel aspect of marriage is that it will inevitably strip away the filters, throwing you into the most trivial of everyday routines. That's when you'll realize that your partner is simply the person competing with you for the bathroom, the person snoring in the middle of the night, the person worrying over the bills at the end of the month. Those repeated admonitions in online forums to "marry for love" - love is like sand in the palm of your hand, it doesn't take much disruption before it slips through your fingers.
The article discusses how Xiaohongshu (Little Red Book) has become a stage for a dramatic performance of love. The platform presents love not as the simple routines of daily life, but as a dream packaged with Instagram-like filters. Some users show off the luxury gifts their partners give them, boasting about being "pampered like a little princess." Others share the surprise trips their partners organize, suggesting this is what love should be like. Over time, the small gestures between ordinary couples seem shabby in comparison, and genuine companionship gets overshadowed. Xiaohongshu's values lie in teaching people to measure love by the standards of luxury goods and surprises, treating vanity as the benchmark of happiness. As a result, many young people, despite living ordinary lives, get drawn into a competition of one-upmanship: women look down on their boyfriends for not being "successful enough," while men feel "unworthy" when they see others casually shower gifts. Love, which should be a private matter between two people, has become a public display in a shop window.
Money is the greatest dignity for adults. The path to poetry and the distant land requires not only sentiment, but also traveling expenses. The idealized relationships on Xiaohongshu give the public an illusion: love can be refined, dreamlike, and without the mundane realities of life. But once the app is turned off, the filters are gone, the copywriting is gone, and the traffic is gone, what's left is the harsh reality. You still have to squeeze into the early morning subway, still have to frown over next month's rent, still have to argue with your partner over trivial matters. It is then that you realize those so-called model relationships on Xiaohongshu are nothing more than advertisements with filters, completely disconnected from your daily life.
Of course, some people may feel that these things are far away from them, and they think this article is full of "fatherly taste" and could never happen to them. But how lucky is reality? Do you think you are lofty and not materialistic, that your soul is independent? In fact, you just don't have the qualifications to choose. When it comes time to pay rent, buy medicine, and repay loans, you'll realize that the so-called "sincerity" is not even worth a Meituan coupon in the face of reality.
Feelings don't require much analysis. The right person won't leave you pondering whether to continue the relationship late at night. The person worth it won't make you question whether they are worth it.
No matter if you are a man or a woman, you should earn more money, travel more, and broaden your horizons. Improve your own quality and skills, instead of always wondering whether the person next to you on your phone screen really loves you or not. As long as you have money, even ghosts will love you.
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